I hate this limbo.

7:35:00 PM

When time walks slowly,
and your head hangs low .
When the burden seems a bit too dreary,
and the path is full of snow.

When sunshine seems a distant notion,
and the skies are dark and grey.
When you feel tired and lonely,
and you feel you have fallen prey.

When it seems like hope is far,
You will definitely see the star
Keep up your soul & your spirit
Light is never really far.
Light is never really far.

Its been quite a while since i wrote anything and that mindset seems to be a continuing phase. Life is slow, boring and basically nothing great is happening .This gives the feeling like i am stuck in a limbo of sorts - a space which i don't know how to manage, which is very unfamiliar .What i know is that it feels very sober,demotivating and dull and that i want to move out of this as soon i can.

And in an attempt to try and understand this i put an introspection in place and i have been to reach some conclusions:

  1. The men in my life don't meet my standards:Whew!!! A lot of men have come and gone . One has tried to stay.But none makes me feel good.I find that something lacking , Always .And that something is not always the same . Its sometimes this ,sometimes that,sometimes both and sometimes more.Well .. am sure you get the drift.
  2. My job is killing me big time: i am one those stuck in the software industry with a job as mundane as mundane can get and i see a future very bleak in this company and don't see a point working here at all whatsoever.I am person with some artistic inclinations and would love to take off on a journey to anywhere to give it some release and see what comes of it. But alas, woe is me .I am need of the money because of reason 3.
  3. I am in debt:credit cards and the blah .. and yes i am fallen.The situation is being remedied with careful planning but i don't like the idea of a tight purse.This puts a hold on a lot of things i could do and makes me regret my past (that i hate)
  4. My life lacks activity : i work..i learn some french...i read... that's it . My life is otherwise like land covered in ice - bleak but under the ice there is a lot of promise.
  5. I am bored of living where i do: i WANT A CHANGE big time .. but that's not yet to be ... i plan to move out in a few months but the wait is killing me ...i want to move to place where the crowd is broad minded,where the men are nice and open doors for women,where the women are nice to all, where i get a good job and lead good life .... Not that where i stay doesn't provide all this - only that the crowd is sad, the men are bad and women are worse. The job bit - gives a good pay , that's it.
  6. My expectations are always a bit tall : and i end up disappointing myself .I expect a star, but a tree top is all i get and the gap between the 2 kills me ...

I am hoping that this would be a passing phase and that i would be out of this as soon as possible .

If you reading this , the rest is read as well . DO comment .
Thanks to picasaweb.google.com/.../uvhsoa1zi1OWKMktA20Hbw for the picture.

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